My perfect date night: I pick you up. In my Kia Sorrento. You get in. There’s candles in the car. You go, ‘…Is that dangerous?’ and I go, ‘Yes—but I like danger.’

We go to your favorite restaurant, and we have a fantastic meal. We come outside and we see my car’s on fire. You go, ‘Aziz, your car’s on fire. Aren’t you upset?’ I pull out a bag of marshmallows and I go, ‘No. I knew this was gonna happen.’

And then I kiss you. In front of my burning car.

Aziz Ansari on his perfect date (x)

(Source: tsaritsaofsalt)

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    More like Aziz Ansari on being the perfect human.

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